Conspiracy of the decade

for entertainment only. This fake news story could not get published in The Onion so I "broke the story" here.

Reese Witherspoon is the latest conspirator identified in the plot to convince the public of a real life relationship between Twilight Saga co-stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. Witherspoon and Pattinson co-starred together in the Fox production of "Water for Elephants"

While discussing Pattinson, Witherspoon told British newspaper The Daily Mail, "I know his girlfriend (Twilight's Kristen Stewart) really well, and he's met my husband."

Did Witherspoon marry Hollywood talent agent Jim Toth this year to lend further credibility to the "perception" that Pattinson doesn't bed every female he encounters? That is one question being asked by a group of Truth seekers who seek to free Pattinson from being forced to spend time with Stewart. "it's tragic he is unable to choose who he spends his time with," says a spokeswoman for the nameless group.

Plots of this complexity have not been seen in decades. The "romance" scheme rivals the coverups of the murders of President Kennedy and his brother, Bobby. The alleged Moon landing by NASA is another example of such skilled manipulation of the public.

Summit Entertainment concocted the scheme. Their goal is to maximize profits for the remaining two movies in the Twilight Saga. It's is believed that if Pattinson and Stewart were viewed as co-stars only, Summit would barely recover it's production costs.

Summit has demonstrated it will stop at nothing to achieve this deception.
The list of the forced interactions between Pattinson & Stewart is too
long to list.

Summit has ordered Pattinson and Stewart to be in the prescense of each other for birthdays, holidays, and any of their so called "downtime." Stewart has been sent to Europe on a few occasions, including a trip to Budapest on her 20th birthday in 2010, so that Pattinson would not be viewed as "available."

The plot was escalated recently when the two stars were forced to "rescue" a shelter canine, days away from euthanasia. While Pattinson discussed the dog with the media during his movie promotion duties in Europe, Stewart was ordered to walk the dog in New York City in clear view of the paparazzi.

Summit's greatest asset in the scheme are the personalities of Stewart and Pattinson. Both refuse to discuss their personal lives and seem determined to have privacy. Unlike most celebrities, they will only discuss their work. They avoid the paparazzi with the skill of cold war era spys. Such determination to avoid attention is the obvious give away to their real intent.
"Why else would they be so determined to keep their lives private if they were not covering up a fake relationship?," says our source, who claims to represent Pattinson's "true fans." This group counters the conspirators with their own counter operations, mostly tasks designed at slandering Stewart.




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Kristen's appeal to my demographic is on the rise

Everything below is opinion.

The pictures of Kristen that have emerged over the past couple of weeks are contributing to her reaching a new stratosphere. Maybe this is an exaggeration but three of my friends (guys BTW who know nothing of Twilight) are suddenly curious. They have only seen her in Adventureland but now plan to see anything she is in, possibly even Breaking Dawn. One of these guys is a huge Jack Kerouac fan and he can't wait for On The Road.

The green bikini pics from St. Thomas have made allot of jaws drop.
I think some guys who saw her as a pretty teenager are now seeing her completely differently now that she is grown up and looking incredibly sexy.

After getting over the shock of what a rare treat it was to see Kristen in those kind of pictures over the Easter weekend, I began to feel guilt over having looked at them. Paparazzi shots aren't a copyright violation but the legality of stalking a movie set like that is probably being challenged.

I am guilty of looking at the St. Thomas pics and some of the leaked/hacked screen caps. I am apologizing right now for giving in. I feel bad for all involved. They invested over half a year into making this. These last two movies are clearly going to be much better than all the other Twilight films. I am pissed at myself for looking. To make up for that I vow to allot spend more on the movies than I would have otherwise. Besides going to the theater, ordering the DVDs, and downloading from iTunes -- I guess I'll buy extra seats.

I am convinced the leaks were not intentional, but I do think there exist a good chance more people will see movies because of the leaks. This won't erase the disappointment they must feel but it might be the silver lining.

This could be my imagination but on St. Thomas it seemed like many faces in that large crowd were on the lookout for paps. The guy was well hidden and that makes it even worse to have looked. It was a large gathering on that isolated beach. I don't know nearly enough about filmmaking to know how many people it would take to get the footage they needed that night. I have entertained the theory that executives that wouldn't normally attend might have been on hand because that was that the last footage that company would gather from Edward and Bella. The franchise will go down as something special to the many people that were involved. I kind of sensed a "we did it" vibe from the smiles Kristen gave to faces I didn't recognize.

One other point i want to touch on are Rob's recent words in which he basically confirmed Kristen as his girlfriend by what he didn't say in response to a reporters question about the secrecy of the relationship. He said his life being news/entertainment makes him feel "cheap and tacky." I like them both for having this attitude. I have blogged that their attitude towards it made it more real to me. And Rob blew the lid off PR theories. I am very glad he did that. But because of the "feeling tacky/cheap" comment, I an inclined to stop talking/blogging about "them." Kristen has been saying this for a long time, and I am such a shit for ever getting into those discussions once I knew that. I will defend her from attacks but my future post may not say anything about the relationship. My views are recorded here on this blog and those views are not changing. But I will try harder to avoid talking about it in the future. If you want to read a guy discussing the draw of R/K, you may have to dig into the archives. I am sorry, but yall know i have been torn about this for awhile. His statement is so consistent with what she has said. "It's not my job" has been quoted by both.

I like writing about this amazing babe and I should respect her (their) wishes and not add fuel to the fire.

What happened?

Where have I been? Living life as always. I heard something happened last weekend but for the life of me I can't figure out what everyone's talking about.

Just kidding. I saw it. I am surprised yet pleased that it happened.
So much about it has been hashed out since then. I usually don't see and experience all these events in real-time like many of you. There has been so much analysis since then so I don't have that much to add.

In case I have not mentioned this a thousand times before, Robert has the best girlfriend one could hope for. She is amazing. Sunday was his night. She went out her way just to be there to support him. It had nothing to do with promoting anything. Of course she did what she could to stay out of the spotlight. That part doesn't surprise me at all, as Kristen is the exact opposite of an attention whore.

@twopeas1pod has been gradually developing her blog. As for what happened Sunday, I am going to defer to her opinion on this break out post of hers. http://twopeas1pod.livejournal.com/1957.html

Some people think Rob made a statement. I don't think that was the case.
The way I see it is that he knows Kristen is shy and he thinks it's cute. They were both riding a high (of the night) and he was teasing her. From the interactions between them that we have been allowed to see, they have always had a playful banter. That was most evident on the Eclipse dvd.
Sunday night the playfulness continued. I think Rob knew she would react as she did and we owe him for the adorable embarrassed smile we got from Kristen.

As for the PR assertion from Lainey and her assistant.
They both said that R/K, though in a real deal, decided to take advantage of the situation. Give the fans what they want and you promote both WFE and BD. Bitter perhaps that she and her band of paps couldn't get anywhere near that set in their own backyard? They especially couldn't get near R/K. When you have to sit in the bushes for grainy shot, you may not be their biggest fans.

I stumbled onto this topic a couple places. PR accusations have become my pet peeve. I don't think Kristen would use any part of her personal life to promote anything. There is work. Then there is her life. There is a clear line between the two. If a studio exec told her to loosen up and be affectionate towards Rob in front of the paps, she would tell them....... Let's just say she wouldn't say "yes sir" to such a request.

Processing the negative

It's been a week to where every night it just seems more bizarre than the night before.  Like many of you, I have stressful job.  Hearing good news about Kristen is one of the activities I use to decompress.  This past week it hasn't been such a good stress reliever.   I am sure everyone is tired about the leaks.   And talking about the leaks.   I was really pissed off a day ago.  But what can I do about it?    This blog is to record my thoughts on Kristen.    If people read that's a bonus. 

Kristen did nothing to deserve this and I hope her spirits can get past it, soon.

I hope she enjoys her 21st birthday.  It's the last one many of us look forward to.  I am really appreciative of the sites that had the Covenant House campaign for Kristen's BD.   You know this will cheer her up.   I made a second contribution today.  But honestly, it was about making myself feel better.   I feel guilty when stuff happens to her.   I know intellectually it's not my fault but I have a hard time accepting it.

I spend about 30 to 45 minutes a day on Twitter.  It was more like once a week before this blog was stumbled upon by Tweeters last summer.   I have had the account since they opened shop but have not become completely comfortable with the instant nature of it.  I enjoy reading Tweets of a few people in regards to Kristen and all that surrounds her.  There are about 20 of you, actually, that I look for to dispel rumors or just give me a rundown of the days events.   And there are two or three sites I check. 

My current favorite Tweeter is @victoria1985.  I have no idea if she reads this but she is like a Twitter detective.   Awesome AVI, too.

So besides the leaks, lots of FOS stories, too.   Earlier tonight I saw the editorial comment from Elle US.   If you consider that someone who only knows ten percent of the facts, hasn't seen the pictures and occurrences that have made it beyond obvious for those that have, then combine that with R/K's decision for privacy and the writers desire to appear hip, then it's no surprise he/she would write that.   I am not excusing the rudeness of it,  I am just not surprised.    I also think R/K wish people would draw a conclusion (one or the other) so they could  be off everyone's radar.  Who could blame them?

I have only touched on a fraction of the last week.   Other very annoying discussions have taken place.  Most of it is due to immaturity.   When some "news" or rumors starts, it's not Kristen or Robert's fault.  To say I am done with her or him because of this story is pure childishness.  

I have cleaned the negative out of my system now.

Happy birthday, Kristen.  You are perhaps the most fascinating woman alive today.  Your beauty, talent, and character  make you the perfect woman.  Please don't ever change.

Nothing has changed

Everything below is opinion, as always. I am not the repetitive type, so there has not been much to blog about recently.

Nothing has changed. Some gossip columnist decided to stir the pot for some reason. I honestly don't think he believes in an impending split. He is just being a gossip queen and he will do what it takes to remain relevant.
Very recently he said Rob & Kristen are "in it for the long haul." I have seen enough of his pot stirring over the past year to know it when I see it.

I am on record on these pages of many opinions about Kristen, including her relationship with Robert. That seems to be the only thing making news lately. There is an occasional update on her next gig, which has her starting SWATH in August. Outside of those rare updates, all of the news regarding Kristen lately have come from Rob's brief mentions of her during his movie promotion. I like Rob. He is funny. The way he does interviews is amusing at times. I did a little catch up today on his recent interviews. The MTV, Leno, and EW interviews made sense. The foreign ones were puzzling. Has he ever talked about "Green Politics" before? I don't follow him like some of you so I don't know. I would suspect (and hope) that whatever political opinions Rob and Kristen have formed at this early stage of their lives are left of center.

I thought the VF interview was weak, cheap and poorly written. That interviewer asked some very leading questions. Does he have the same intensity towards Kristen as Edward has for Bella? That was an insult. She knew he didn't want to go there, so she tried to trick it out him. How do you answer that question without revealing anything about your private life? Kristen won't allow a question like that to be asked. They have different methods of "not going there" Kristen prevents the question from being asked, Rob let's it get asked and tries to change the subject, usually with humor.

There is no new information regarding Rob and Kristen. Rob reinforced that he doesn't want to talk about it & he looks forward to when people stop caring.

We still only have the actions to go on. Nothing has changed. They are occasionally spotted together. Par for the last year when i first began to pay attention. The list of actions remains a compelling conclusion that a real relationship exists.

Kristen, I am sorry for talking about this!!!!

It would be understandable if the stress were too much and that led to a spilt. But it could also make them stronger. From what I think I know of Kristen's personality (and I could be very wrong) those private pics over Xmas would have infuriated her. I think she would have been less upset over
PDA or other embarrassing situations. But that was Rob's parents, they are innocent of this drama. If I am reading her right, that pic was more over the line than any other situation you can imagine. It might have resulted in a more determined intention to protect her private life and the lives of those she cares about.

Kristen and Robert are so different than the typical Hollywood personality.
How do I know this? Because of what they do and say. Many actors actually seem to relish being papped holding hands, etc. I think it's cheap. I want to like other actresses, like Ashley, because she seems sweet. But I see too much focus on herself. She wants more attention, it's obvious and it's a turnoff. Actually, this is normal 23 year old hot chic behavior. I probably take it for granted now that Kristen rises above this.

If R/K break-up, then so what. It doesn't affect me in any way. There just wouldn't be any more "awww" pictures of the two of them. I don't have a personal investment. The way some people think, I should want Kristen single since I find her so irresistible. She continues to get more beautiful every time we see her, right Matt Perry? Unless she flies to Austin and knocks on my door, I am not going to get to date her. Since she ain't coming for me, i think she and Rob make a good couple. And i have never said that about any two people before. Its their uniqueness that makes them so appealing. They are the outsiders, who are refreshingly different in the way they live and the values they posses, and damn don't they look amazing. It's a chemistry that not only affects them, but most of the people watching them.

So if they were done (and there is no evidence they are or will be) then it's not a big deal. What does bother me and brings out my defensive side are the insults that suggest Kristen would take any part in a "showmance" There is no fucking way. Not this girl. Those making these accusations are the biggest idiots out there. The studio tried to prevent her from cutting her hair to play Joan Jett in a low budget Indie. She didn't adhere to their wishes on that matter. But she would let the same studio dictate how to live her life in her own time? No fucking way!!!!!


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The non-post Post

I don't have any strong opinions to share today. I am sorry I just can't be serious right now. Many people tell me they look forward to an update here and I start feeling guilty when its been ten days or more from the last one.

There are some readers of this blog from Asia, including Monica. I hope you are OK. The same goes for anyone else who's lives have been affected by the rumblings of the planet. I don't have first hand experience with that kind of tragedy.

I do support the charity thing for Kristen's Bday. I contributed. I don't think she would care for a public birthday card but I do think she would definitely appreciate giving to Covenant House in her name. That's a signal to her that she has fans who want to support what she cares about. So good job to those who came up with the campaign. If you are unfamiliar, see Twilightish

I am not Tweeting this "non post" either because this is not one I am proud of. I hardly ever Tweeted before last August, and I am still under 400 Tweets since I signed up for the account three or four years ago. My inner Chris Weitz is not ready to get out. He seems to be having a good time. Did he just discover this invention?

I do appreciate the support I get on Twitter despite the fact that I haven't fully embraced that medium. This blog would have remained unread if not for Twitter. If I have ever offended anyone with my lack Twitter etiquette, then i truly apologize. When I make another "real" post again, I'll Tweet it.

I have strange sense of humor. Ted's Awful Truth is one place I can rarely stomach, but I actually got a good laugh from it early last week.

Monday I looked at the AT boards for a few minutes after some "news"
that will go unmentioned. The fact that it was even posted to begin with was annoying but I can't do anything about that. I read up to about seventy five posts and then I had to stop because I was laughing too hard. I copied these three so I could relive the moment.

BobNYC Mon, Mar 7, 2011, 3:07 PM
Please take a reality check * This is news? worthy of a video post??? Rob and Kristen holding hands. Oh, dear lawdy stop the presses. Now if it were John Boehner and John Travolta holding hands, maybe. THIS is news? oh, please!

to BobNYC Mon, Mar 7, 2011, 3:46 PM
Thanks a lot Bob. Now when I see John BoehnerI'm going to picture him with John Travolta. That is not a pic anyone should have in their mind.

Sigh Mon, Mar 7, 2011, 3:51 PM
Who cares? Anyways I'm going to go get my popcorn and enjoy the Nonstens VS Robsten war. That is always entertaining.

Oh, the Nonsten versus Robsten war. It still persist!!! After all that's happened already, how does such an insignificant event trigger such intense responses from people???? Dr. Phil should cover this topic. It's still going on and that really sux for Kristen and Robert. But what else can you do besides ignore it and laugh about it???

Again, sorry I didn't really have a topic this week.

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I agree Rob, Its Traumatic

I just read some of the VF interview with Rob (and yes since I read it online, I will buy the magazine...its only right). Like many others, I feel bad for the guy.
I don't know how well I would function in that bubble. Having a wonderful girl like Kristen to get through it would be crucial. And after years of it now, it may be close to breaking him. Maybe he isn't always this down. But the honesty Rob expressed in that interview --- Its not just about him. I doubt he would have used the word "Traumatic" if he was just thinking about himself.

I think Kristen must feel much the same about the insanity of all of this. And you would think I was a damn feminist for saying this,
but its because I am such a fan of hers, but Kristen can't get away with venting about down side of the fame like Robert just did. She actually has before in lesser known magazines and the reaction from some very vocal critics was she was whiny and ungrateful and what a bitch, etc. All those women who railed on Kristen after her interviews last spring are now saying, "Poor Rob."
To me this says so much about the pitiful character of the women who trash Kristen while praising Rob. Why can't you like them both? They are going through the same thing. She has suffered as badly as he has, possibly worse. At the very least, people must understand why these two need each other. Even if you don't buy into the concept that they are probably in love with each other, to not respect the importance each of them has for the other is subhuman behavior.

Since those interviews last Spring, when Kristen vented, she has not really come even close to doing so again --- because she knows what the reaction would be. I have even seen her say the crazy fame
part isn't as bad as it seems. In her last several interviews she has said she has gotten use to, adjusted, etc. I am sure Rob is optimistic many days as well, but what we read from Rob today is a reality for both of them. He can express it. She can't

Both Rob and Kristen are far, far from the typical person out there. Yes, there are many people who would love to take the places of Rob and Kristen. Oh, such people might make a ruse at how their life is inconvenient, but for the most part they would really love all the attention. As I have said before, not everyone wants the same things in life. These two are in the part of their lives when most of us didn't have a freaking clue what our life would be about. Kristen would be a sophomore in college. Rob would be doing what his friends are doing, making a living in music but able to walk around the block without getting mobbed by obsessed fans.

Rob and Kristen want to do good work, but they could take or leave the material rewards. And they damn sure don't want people obsessing over every little move they make. This last point brings me to the thoughts I have had many times. And a blogger I respect asked herself the same question today. Am I fueling the fire that makes their life unpleasant?

If everyone who was doing something online stopped -- say we just stopped doing this --- stopped congregating online ---- with only the exception of discussing the upcoming movies and not the personalities involved, would it help make their lives easier? I would stop in heartbeat if I knew if I was hurting more than helping.

**** a quick note unrelated: As I said in my post from 2/19, more men have shown up.
I am not the only guy out there. I only mention this today because there is a guy named "Dan" who I have seen post comments at a few places. Though his opinions seems pretty close to mine, we are not the same person. If I post somewhere, it will be under the name dano328 or possibly Opytaylor.***